Saturday, January 28, 2012

The Indians - Four Down and Under

After the world cup victory, the Indie-Aussie series was the one which I was most looking forward to. I even had written some blog drafts that made fun of the Aussie players in anticipation of a close series and optimistically thinking of an Indian victory. But then who knew Indian players could play this "crap". Well the only reason I can think of is they had to justify their Test team ranking of "Number 2".

I believe Dravid and Laxman in their twilight phase of their career wanted to retire on a high after winning a series against their arch nemesis. In an attempt to churn out a superhuman effort they failed miserably, Laxman going through the worst plausible and possible form of his career and Dravid missing loads of bricks in the wall like defense of his which let the ball seep through with an unimaginable consistency. This was one such aberrant Australia series where Laxman-Garu failed and Kan-Garu’s came out flying. Sadly it is to be the last contest between the VVS and the Australian team.

The reason behind India despicable performance has undoubtedly been the batting woes of Sehwag, Gambhir, Dhoni and Laxman. All four of them average less than Siddle’s  batting average of 25 in the first three test and have scored lesser runs  than Ashwin. So therein lies my confusion, if the tail can wag with such consistency then why can't seh-wag once in the last ten odd test innings he has played on foreign soil.

Dhoni on the other hand is making an all out attempt to prove Newton third law “To every Large Happy moment, there is an equal and opposite amount of small sad moments lurking around” After the world cup win the notional national sport may have touch new zeniths in its cricketing history but after two cold dishes of four-zeroes India is in a free fall plummeting deeper than Marina Trench.

The series ensured that Agony-path is playing to packed theatres and when you have songs with lyrics like the following then why not.
Honi ko UnHoni kar de, UnHoni ko aurrrr  UnHoni.
 Indian Cricket mein jamah ho teeno - Pawaaaar, IPL-Chaar-Baar aur Dhoni

Not only did the Indian cricket team lose but the Australian prime minister proved she is much better than the Indian counterpart. She was in the commentator’s box and certainly put to shame Ravi Shastri cricketing knowledge and more importantly his stymied vocabulary. All his questions were AUDI-cious and made no sense of course.  Manmohan Singh on the other hand when he comes to a cricket stadium waves his hand towards the crowd as if he is cleaning up the blackboard with a duster.  Therein lies the problem we have a PM who can’t speak in public, a commentator when he speaks bores the audience out of their living daylight, batsmen who can’t bat, bowlers who can bat but cant bowl and administrators who are hell bent to sell Indian cricket to the highest bidder and have orgies like the IPL.

India has an inherent ability to make superhereos out of ordinary players. Mathew Clarke comes out with a Clarke Kent performance and Nathan Mouse turns out be a Lion only against India. Ben Hilly-Billus bowls with speed and unforeseen accuracy and David (Warner) puts up a goliath effort.
On the other hand we have Ishant Sharma and the only thing that swings while he bowls  is his long hair, the opening bowler Zaheer bowls well with the old ball and the spinner Ashwin who cant spin the old ball. Now even when Sachin comes to bat you start praying to God (the real one), please let him complete the hundredth 100 and bring an end to this long running soap-opera which is taking CID-esque type proportions.

But then if I can make a cheesy quote from everyone’s favourite movie “The night is darkest just before the dawn” And we hope earnestly and eagerly that the dawn is approaching fast towards the beleagured Indian team and its multitudes of die hard fans.

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